Clean Water is a Human Right

This post will have nothing humorous in it.  No witticisms or funny anecdotes.  This post contains nothing more than the plea of this mother for you to help her honor the life of her only son's birthmother who died because she did not have access to clean water in Ethiopia. 

This is my son's birth mom (Etenesh) and his maternal grandfather (Ermias):

Etenesh died in the fall of 2012 from Amoebiasis, a condition caused by living in unsanitary conditions and drinking contaminated water.  She was only in her mid-20s.  To read my entire letter about how this has impacted my view of the world, please read my story here: I Am Not The Babysitter.

This woman gave me THIS incredible gift when she placed her only son up for adoption so that he could have the chance of life with his "forever family":

And now I ask you to help me honor this woman while literally saving thousands of lives by donating to Project-Ethiopia, the fundraising effort that WILL bring a clean water filtration system to the village of my son's birth family. 

Clean water is not a privilege.  It is a human right.  Together we can fix this.  We can make an actual difference.  So let's do this.  And please share this post with your friends and family. 

This Is America.

Last night while driving home talk naturally turned to the issue of the day.  The election.  It went something like this:

MAX: Mama, you made a big mistake not voting for Barack Obama. 

ME: Why do you feel that way, Max?

MAX: He will give us money and he likes Sesame Street.  I like him, Mama.  Barack Obama is a nice man.

ME: Well, those are certainly matters to be considered and I agree he is a nice man but I just have a different view of government and felt I want our country to run differently.  That's why we all have the freedom to vote and why it is so important.

MAX: You voted wrong, Mama. 

ME: Mimi, what do you think about this?

MIMI: *shrugs* I really don't care one way or the other.

--

This has been America, as seen from a Japanese made vehicle, in 60 seconds or less. 

The End.

Blow Hard.

I think everyone who reads this blog is well aware of my issues with g-u-m, right?   This makes Halloween a very difficult time for me and it is even more so challenging because Max at some point realized he is not allergic to it.  And he apparently loves that stuff.  *sighs* 

To her credit, Mimi continuously explains to Max that "Mommy is allergic and she gets sick when we chew it so we cannot do that."  Thankfully, I traumatized trained her early on so that she is well-aware of the repurcussions of me seeing them with this in their mouths. You can click HERE for that story.

So last night all was quiet on the home front and Max opted to have his dessert come from his Halloween candy stash. He chose a lollipop.  As I quickly learned it was not a lollipop.  It was a BLOW-POP. 

It is simply impossible for me to describe what happened next as it would require tranquilizers to calm me but I was visibly horrified and gagging uncontrollably.  No, really.  I was gagging.  Thankfully Mimi assisted Max with the disposal of the product in a manner by which I would not be subjected to seeing it.

Mimi then looked up at me and very calmly said: "It's okay mommy. I will make sure we throw all of it away now."  

Come to think of it, she was talking to me as if I was a mental patient.

Oh rats....

Last night Max and I noticed that one of his gerbils (Carla) was looking a little, ummmm... stiff.  The thing is that she was only mostly dead so we left her there hoping she'd recover. 

Around midnight I found myself wide awake in bed researching gerbils on the internet.  Somewhere around 1:00 a.m. I determined the only logical conclusion was the gerbil was hibernating because it got cold so suddenly.  To combat this condition I moved the cage from Max's room (where they were by the drafty window) to the family room, placing them directly under a lamp (you know, to warm her up and get her out of hibernation mode).  Feeling pretty darn accomplished I returned to sleep.  When the alarm sounded I rushed to check on Carla's status and there I found one really completely and totally dead gerbil.

Let's all take a moment to remember Carla as we once knew her. 

Alive:

Came home on August 15, 2011.  Died on October 30, 2012.

Zoinks! It's zombies...!

This afternoon I took the kids to a neighboring town to catch some of the "walking dead" with a couple of friends who are (last I checked) not zombies.

Max's strategy was to try and blend in:

Mimi's strategy was to "act as if..."

As usual Max had to fend off the ladies:

Mimi clearly relied on her cute-factor to avoid infestation:

Thankfully they both made it out alive with their brains in tact:

The night was capped off with Halloween movies and the first fire of the season:

Riding the Hogwarts Express

As I've previously shared, my daughter does not quite appreciate or understand my love of reading.  I could never figure out how to impart upon her how incredible it is to read typed words on a page and then feel them come to life in your mind.  It almost seemed like I was describing magic.  And then... it occurred to me...

 

MAGIC!

That's it!  I realized that rather than nudge her head into a book and force her to read like this:

I would instead let my children see the wonders inside of a book by reading them Harry Potter (they already love the movies and have previously asked if we could read the books).  And, so, last night it began and magical it was.

After over 30 minutes we only reached page 11 of the first book.  Why?  Well Mimi kept enthusiastically raising her hand to ask questions during breaking points as she began to recognize the characters based on the book's description.  At one point Max was leaning on me with his eyes closed and I thought I lost his interest until he started giggling over the stoic cat perched on the brick wall.  Mimi took hold of my wrist and asked "Can I read some out loud?"

Yes.

Yes. You can.

At the rate we're going it may take us a year to finish the series, but who cares.  We have plenty of time and if we happen to run out I'll use my time-turner necklace.

Heart Switch ON!!

The custody arrangement was negotiated to where the kids father and I have custody every other week with alternating Thursdays.

I cannot wait for Thursdays when it is my "off-week." I feel "off" without these two at home.

Grounded!

My kids are amazingly sweet, funny, smart, kind, generous and thoughtful.  It's a shame that they have both been behaving in a manner that casts an unfortunate shadow over those lovely attributes and required extreme measures to be taken in the name of: Grounding. 

This weekend both of my children were subjected to the "in your room and don't come out" variety of punishment.  To be fair I did feed them and allowed them to use the facilities.  I also permitted them to watch TV ever so briefly to witness the Space Jump yesterday as I felt that was educational.  See?  I'm not THAT mean!

I did not even plan to have their friends come to ask them out to play just so that I could gleefully decline the invitation on their behalf.  It just worked out that this happened not once but twice.  These occurrences caused both of their faces to get stuck like this:

We did get a lot accomplished, though.  They had to do their requisite reading for school, complete workbooks at their grade level, clean out drawers and closets and organize toys.  Yesterday we made a quick trip to Target which may as well have been Disneyland as excited as they were to see civilization.

Finally, they heard me watching Iron Man in my bedroom.  They begged and pleaded with me to let them watch it and I said, "You know that Tony Stark is a genius, right?  Do you know WHY?  He is a genius because HE was a good listener and HE followed directions and HE took school seriously!  When you act like Tony Stark, you will be able to watch Iron Man again."  What I didn't count on was Max then moving around my bedroom a la Iron Man. 

Nice try, but .... Denied!

Wordless Wednesday

[Photo by Heather Beauchamp]

Lucky Number Seven

Max just celebrated his 7th birthday.  Before we begin you all need to know that he and his sister are being raised by a woman who never ever ever had a birthday party.  Not even a Sweet Sixteen.  *le sigh*  Soooooo to compensate for the childhood trauma their mother *coughs*me*coughs* experienced, she throws fabulous birthday parties for her children.  MTV should really come document these events.  No, but seriously... they should.  

I kid... I kid...

These parties are simply about making fun memories and being sure that no matter what they're eventually in therapy for they will never be able to blame me for not throwing them birthday parties.  So a party we had.  This year: BOWLING!

Max's beloved friend Dagny was in attendance.  I always contact her mother before finalizing any plans to be sure she can come because a party isn't a party if his sweet friend isn't there celebrating with him. 

Look at those smiles.  That's genuine 1,000 watts of happiness right there.  Oh and the outfit my kid is wearing?  He chose the entire thing himself.  I know... It was inevitable he be that cool with me as his mother. *grins*

Back to the party.... So who knew Max could actually bowl?  I didn't. 

This year's theme was Spongebob Squarepants.

Unfortunately Max didn't get to enjoy any birthday cake because he got sick at the bowling alley.  He did recover enough to be able to fully enjoy everyone singing to him before he blew out his candles.

Then we went home where Max was genuinely overwhelmed by all the presents his friends gifted him with.  It was clear that they know him well as he received all his favorite things:

He was a very happy birthday boy.

Brave Parenting

Yesterday I took my children to see the film Brave. Women will relate to this film both as daughters and as mothers, particularly if they have a little girl. Mother/Daughter relationships are oftentimes complicated and this film did a wonderful job accurately portraying that struggle. 

In the film Merida is a beautiful young girl with untamed red hair and a spirit to match, much to the dismay of her mother who has grand plans for her daughter.  This is a struggle that frustrates both the mother and the daughter.  The underlying message?  Neither one feel they are being listened to and neither one is listening.

This got me thinking. How often do we listen to our children versus demand they listen to us?  It should go without saying that as the adults we do have to steer the ship with the goal of raising well-behaved and respectful children.  But are we seeking to raise well-adjusted children or perfect little robots who always do what they're told?

What would happen if we approached our children in a way that enabled them to both adhere to what we as adults know they need to grow and mature:

1. Nourishment.
2. Rest.
3. Boundaries.
4. Rules.
5. Affection.
6. Education.

and allow them to experience what they as children inherently need to discover who they are:

1. Feeling loved.
2. Believing they are good.
3. Having freedom to explore their world, thoughts and ideas.
4. Fail.
5. Succeed.
6. Fall down.
7. Make mistakes.
8. Laugh loudly.
9. Be silly.
10. Find magic in the ordinary.

They say youth is wasted on the young and that may be true. As adults we spend an inordinate amount of time speaking about those long lost days of freedom, right? Well as parents we are given the opportunity to revisit the magic of that time in our lives through our children. So why don't we?

I have found success in talking with my children about their thoughts, ideas and even their mistakes. I use these all as teachable moments that communicate ways to help them make better choices, or explore their ideas.  It doesn't mean they'll never make that mistake again but they WILL be open to the discussion.  By contrast, treating them as a Drill Sargent regards a wayward Private by punishing them every time they are "out of line" only serves to teach children one thing: Lie so you don't get caught. THAT is a tragedy.

In the film both mother and daughter ultimately learn to listen to, rely upon and trust each other. They also realize they each have something to bring to the relationship. The parent/child relationship is NOT a one-way street and a child SHOULD have a voice.

Merida's mother ultimately realized that her daughter needed freedom to be who she was, not who she expected Merida to be. By doing so Merida realized her worth in her mother's eyes. Which was priceless.

Wordless Wednesday

A Perfect 10

That's my daughter.  She turned 10 on Saturday. So we had a pool party to celebrate!

That's my son.  He's 6 years old.  He had to endure a day at the pool with a dozen "older women."  So what did he do to entertain himself (and the rest of us)?

Isn't that what tubes are for? *shrugs* Well, the 10 year old girls reacted to this much like I hope they do 10 years from now while at a pool where a boy is trying to get their attention:

Yelling: "Stop it!"  And like most boys, he was undeterred. 

*sighs* I have my hands full, I know.  I apologize in advance to mother's everywhere.... 

Fun Fact: 

Sunday morning I was preparing breakfast for the girls who slept over. One girl told me that she didn't like eggs. I then asked the other children if they liked cheese in their eggs.  She quickly amended "I like cheese in my eggs."  To which I said "Oh so you want eggs then?"  She hesitated, then asked "Well, what kind of cheese?"  I replied "American."  She asked "shredded or sliced?" I said "sliced." She sighed and said "No. I don't like that. I'll just have cereal." -- I will spare you the discussion on which cereal she was willing to eat. And no milk.  Because she doesn't like milk.   

Now you know why I drink on the job. ;)

Genna Style

One of the things I cherish most about living in Atlanta is the ever expanding Ethiopian Adoptive Group which has so many lovely families, many of whom I count as dear friends.  My crew loves meeting up for these events at area Ethiopian restaurants where we celebrate families, adoption and Ethiopian culture while enjoying incredible meals mixed in with a whole lotta fun.  This year's gathering to celebrate the Ethiopian Christmas was our largest yet. 

Jolly Good Times!

This was our first Christmas in our new home.  Initially I had no joy in the process... Every item of Christmas decor just sent a painful reminder of all that was lost for me and I really wanted to sleep until 2012.  But that's not an option when you're a mom so I pulled up my big girl Christmas themed pants and got to creating a mini-winter wonderland:

The kids were super excited.  On Christmas Eve we enjoyed hot chocolate, wrote letters to Santa and baked cookies. 

Christmas morning the kids woke up and were super excited to see that Santa did indeed get our change of address form in time!  Their dad came over for Christmas breakfast and enjoyed them opening all of their presents.   Later that evening I heated up made a holiday meal prepared by a most excellent cook at Kroger.

All in all it was a really wonderful Christmas with my two favorite tea-cup humans. 

Oh, and Max is already pandering for 2012:

This is an actual sign he stapled above our fireplace.